Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Days 10, 11 & 12 Love Dares: 353 days left....!

The Love Dare  Love Cherishes
  • Interesting comparison between how most people handle major car repairs or major physical injuries...."Because of the expensive repairs, he determines to get rid of the car and spend his funds on a new vehicle."  But is your hand was crushed in an accident, you'd spend the time & money to get it back to working order.  This chapter is saying that most people treat their marriages like the first scenario...when it seems to no longer be working, they trade it in for a new model....but, "You are a part of one another."  
  • Monday's Dare is: To willingly meet a need of Jay's today so that he knows I truly cherish him....
The Love Dare  Love lets the other win
  • Talking about the different areas where we disagree...of which, of course, there are many!  "Though these issues may not crop up every day, they keep resurfacing and don't really go away."  Talks about the need to be "willing" to put my own feelings or attitude aside for what Jay feels on the other side of the issue.  
  • Encourages though, that we should embrace our differences..."Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won't have any balance or flavor to enhance the relationship.  Rather, your differences are for listening to and learning from."
  • Tuesday's Dare is:  To willingly choose to give in to an area of disagreement between us....
The Love Dare  Love fights fair
  • "Conflict in marriage is simply inevitable."
  • "Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards."
  • "We" Boundaries:
    • We will never mention divorce
    • We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past
    • We will never fight in public or in front of the children
    • We will call a "time out" if conflict escalates to a damaging level
    • We will never touch one another in a harmful way
    • We will never go to bed angry with one another
    • Failure is not an option.  Whatever it takes, we will work this out

  • Wednesday's Dare:  is to start working through conflicts with these boundaries in mind....   

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